Bad Habit Detox Before Ramadan
Ramadan is the month of self-control, the month we we strive to be obedient to Allah and to abstain from what He has forbidden for us, the month we strive to become righteous.
O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous – Quran 2:183
But what does this really mean and is giving up food and water each day enough?
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam) said, "Whoever does not give up false statements (i.e. telling lies), and evil deeds, and speaking bad words to others, Allah is not in need of his (fasting) leaving his food and drink." Bukhari
Ramadan an opportunity to strive to be the very best version of ourselves. To let go of our bad habits and to try to emulate the very best manners and example of the prophet (SAW).
As Ramadan comes around, let’s reflect on this and our lives and deeds and think about what we would like to change, what areas we want to work on and to start making those changes now, one step at a time.
Here are 6 Common Problem Areas to Think About
Backbiting, Slander and Malicious Gossip
“neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful” [49:12]
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, ‘A backbiter will not enter Paradise.” Agreed upon.
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used to walk about spreading malicious gossip (nameemah), and the other used not to take precautions to avoid getting urine on himself when he urinated.” Then he called for a green branch, which he split in two and planted a piece on each grave, and said, “May their torment be reduced so long as these do not dry out.” [al-Bukhaari, Muslim]
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Do you know what is backbiting?" The Companions said: "Allah and His Messenger know better." Thereupon he said, "Backbiting is talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which he dislikes." It was said to him: "What if my (Muslim) brother is as I say." He said, "If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting; but if that is not in him, that is slandering." [Muslim].
Wronging Others in Any Way
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or anything else, let him seek his forgiveness today, before there will be no dinar and no dirham, and if he has any good deeds to his credit they will be taken from him in a manner commensurate with the wrong he did, and if he has no good deeds, then some of his counterpart’s bad deeds will be taken and added to his burden.” [al-Bukhaari].
Speak Good or Remain Silent
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent."[Muslim].
Our tongues can be our worst enemies. Think of how you speak to others – your parents, husband, kids, family, friends, colleagues… is there harshness in your words, disrespect, anger, sarcasm, contempt or worse.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "A person utters a word thoughtlessly (i.e., without thinking about its being good or not) and, as a result of this, he will fall down into the fire of Hell deeper than the distance between the east and the west." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
What about the content of your words. Do you speak without thinking?
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man asked the Prophet (ﷺ) for an advice and he (ﷺ) said, "Do not get angry". The man repeated that several times and he replied, "Do not get angry". [Al-Bukhari].
Abu Huraira reported, I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: One is not strong because of one's wrestling skillfully. They said: Allah's Messenger, then who is strong? He said: He who controls his anger when he is in a fit of rage. Sahih Muslim 2609 b
What to do when you are angry
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down. Sunan Abi Dawud 4782
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "I saw (in a dream), two men came to me." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) narrated the story (saying), "They said, 'The person, the one whose cheek you saw being torn away (from the mouth to the ear) was a liar and used to tell lies and the people would report those lies on his authority till they spread all over the world. So he will be punished like that till the Day of Resurrection."' Bukhari
Watching or Listening to Content that is Harmful
And [mention, O Muhammad], the Day when the enemies of Allah will be gathered to the Fire while they are [driven] assembled in rows, Until, when they reach it, their hearing and their eyes and their skins will testify against them of what they used to do. Quran 41:19-20
This is a very personal exercise so remember as you do it, this about YOU - taking a small step to try and please Allah.
It's not about beating yourself up, or about what others are doing (or not doing).
It’s about taking the time to reflect on who we are and where we are, and where we would like to be better.
The aim is not perfection, it’s just to try and be a little better tomorrow that we are today always remembering that we are all on our own journey and striving to do the best we can so, bismillah, and let's try to make some beautiful changes.